Does your child have trouble going to sleep at night? Or perhaps wakes up in the middle of the night and has irregular sleep patterns? As many as twenty per cent of one-to-two year olds have sleeping problems. But there are ways of dealing with this reports Anna Bailey who spoke to Clinical Psychologist, Amanda Owen at The London Sleep Centre.
Sleep is important for babies and children as it’s one of the major times when they produce growth hormones. It helps with their development and influences their behaviour and concentration levels. Without a good night’s sleep they will invariably wake up tired and grumpy, which can impact on the wellbeing of the whole family. But there are steps you can take to ensure a peaceful night sleep and keep stress levels down in the process.
According to Amanda Owen, the amount of sleep babies and children need varies depending on their age. The chart below is a good indicator of the amount of sleep they should be getting, although you shouldn’t worry too much if some sleep more or less.
| Age | Sleep |
|---|---|
| Newborn babies between one to 15 days old | 16 hours per day |
| Babies between one to two years old | 13 hours per day |
| Toddlers between two to three years old | 11 hours per day |
| Children between five to ten years old | 10 hours per day |
| Children between ten and 13 years old | 9-10 hours per day |
(These are averages not norms)
Sleep patterns take a while to develop and are often irregular for the first couple of months. Newborn babies will sleep around 14 - 16 hours a day and, depending on feeding habits, in one to three hour chunks. Yet by the time they reach three to five months old “it’s helpful to establish a more regular routine,” says Amanda.
Developing a sleeping routine isn’t always easy and some babies need more support than others. This was the case for Penny Doyle and her five-month old daughter Alex.
“Trying to put Alex to sleep at night was a real struggle. She would sleep well during the day but come nighttime it would turn into a battle. For an easy life I would let her fall asleep in my arms curled up on the sofa or we would put her into bed between 10 and 12 o’clock. As a part-time working mum this was obviously far from ideal, and I found that I wasn’t getting any quality time to myself or with my husband. But at that point we didn’t know how to control or break the cycle and as first-time parents were a bit too embarrassed to ask.”
If this sounds familiar to you, Amanda suggests that you firstly establish a regular bedtime and stick to it.
“Watch for the time your child seems to fall asleep in the evening and then try to make that a more regular time. It may not be your ideal time but it will be the beginning of a routine. You can adjust the time later when the routine is more established.
Secondly, monitor how much your baby is sleeping during the day and try to reduce it over a two-week period. If you let your baby sleep for most of the day then chances are they won’t settle down at night.
Thirdly, keep the baby as calm as possible and develop sleep associations that signal that it’s bedtime. This could mean reading them a bedtime story, having their last feed, taking a bath, giving them a massage, or playing soft and gentle music. The key is to keep them calm rather than excited so avoid active play and exercise if you can.”
Key things to remember
Within a few months you should hopefully have eight hours of pure uninterrupted sleep!
It’s common and natural for newborn babies to wake up during the night but after ten months old they should be able to sleep right through on their own. If your baby continues to wake up and cry it could be because they haven’t adjusted to independent sleeping and can’t go back to sleep without a parent cuddling them. In order to break this habit Amanda suggests that you stop feeding them when you are settling them for the night and to take them to bed when they are drowsy.
This is often best achieved by feeding them in a room used in the daytime and then taking them to bed.
“If you put your child to bed when they’re still awake they should get used to going to sleep without mummy and daddy. So if they do wake up it’s not so frightening to be on their own and eventually they will settle back to sleep without you. If they do cry, be strong and try to ignore them. After a while they will realise their behavior won’t attract your attention or support.
“If you find this method too harsh then go into their room after five minutes and use your voice to let them know that you are there but don’t turn on the light. Pat their head briefly or rub their tummy for reassurance but resist moving them. Try not to change their nappy unless you really need to as you would probably wake them up in the process.
“The next night wait ten minutes and the following night fifteen minutes and so on etc… The key here is consistency which is not easy for parents to do at three in the morning but if you repeat your actions it will help to create a new cycle which will be beneficial in the long run.”
If you still find your baby has difficulty getting to sleep without you, then there’s the gradual withdrawal method, or 'disappearing chair' method that can be very helpful if your child becomes anxious during separation. This means taking small steps towards more independent settling that involves breaking physical contact first, then lying beside your child, then sitting beside your child, then sitting on a chair a little way away from your child's bed and lastly doing something not too noisy in the corridor, or popping in and out quietly. Each step involves talking with your child in the daytime about what you are going to do and then doing it. “But only move onto the next step when you are sure your child is happy with what you are doing and can fall asleep quickly and easily,” points out Amanda.
Disturbed sleep can also be caused by strange movements in the night. For example, body rocking, sleep walking, sleep talking, nightmares and night terrors. All of these are very common in children but can be frightening for parents when you first encounter them. Children can also wake up because they are sick, in pain or are frightened. In these situations Amanda suggests comforting your children until they fall back to sleep again.
“Don’t be tempted to try to wake a child who is sleep walking or having a night terror, they are normally deeply asleep, just guide them back to bed if they have got up and make sure they are safe.”
In some cultures it is completely normal to sleep with your children all of the time. But some parents might not find this ideal. Before you decide it’s worth considering whether you have enough room in your bed and how comfortable it will be as a family. There are no right or wrong sleeping arrangements but according to Amanda it’s important to make a decision early on and try to keep to it. “If your children leap from one bed to another it can established unhealthy sleep patterns that can be difficult to break.”
If you are finding the demands of motherhood difficult and think you may be depressed, do talk to your doctor or health visitor. Babies of depressed mothers often wake up more, perhaps because they sense that something isn't right but this can then make the depression worse.
Last reviewed by Great Ormond Street Hospital: August 2007
This information has been written to provide general information only, and does not replace health or medical advice. If you have any questions, please ask your doctor. No liability can be taken as a result of using this information.
